How do you know when an addict is lying? When their lips are moving. This joke was told to me by an industry veteran who ran a large rehabilitation organization for recovering addicts of every kind. Thinking that anything that could help him know if an addict was lying would be helpful, I inquired further about things that might provide clarity on whether addicts were reoffending. His response surprised me. He said, it actually wouldn’t be helpful at all to know an addict had returned to their addiction. At that point, we’ve already lost. The user is already reusing, the gambler is gambling, the thief is stealing, and the cheater is cheating. We’d have to start all over again. What a waste of time and resources!
Then he explained: the key is knowing the truth about the behaviors that lead to a slide back to reoffending. Little things can be big indicators of subtle changes in trajectory that result in a return to previously destructive choices. For example, someone who has abused alcohol or drugs might begin to miss curfews, hang out with old friends, steal small amounts of money, or lie about their location or activities. Taken by themselves, these activities are not critical and are easily corrected – IF THEY ARE KNOWN.
This is the trick. Knowing when these small “indicator” activities are occurring is very difficult. Addicts don’t volunteer this information truthfully, nor are they likely to be honest when asked. Creating accountability around these small decisions is the key to avoiding the big failures. If ignored, they compound, until the seriously destructive behaviors they were trying to escape return.
Advances in technology are making accountability for “leading” behaviors easier and more reliable. Short, accurate evaluations of the honesty of an addict’s answer to the above questions can spot problems while they can still be handled. Whereas if the answer to questions are kicked down the road, the slide into renewed participation in the addicted behavior means that the rehabilitation process has to start all over again.